eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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