So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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