singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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