he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
