There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
