I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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