i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I pour the whiskey from now on
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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