Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
