I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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