What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
