i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
