did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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