I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
