I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
