Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
