I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
