Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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