why didn't you poke me back
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
