I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Please don't give away my fajitas
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
