Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
