New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
