Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
