just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
