***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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