How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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