Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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