I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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