well you can't waste a boner
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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