since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
