you turned your livingroom into a bong?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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