I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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