if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
