Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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