no you cant smoke seaweed
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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