school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize