NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
