We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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