im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
