end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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