i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
