She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We talked him into tasing himself.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
