We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize