Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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