I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My liver just broke up with me...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
