North Korea, Best Korea!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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