So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
