I'm laying in your front yard are you home
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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