You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
