For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
