DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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