is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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