It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm like, not good at living.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
