okay pat passed out under dana's car
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
