just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
