Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
ttyl tear gas
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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