i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
