Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize