i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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