I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
