Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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