O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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