a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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