Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm getting married
To pizza
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
