If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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